Gone, Gone, Gone: True Blood Episode 10 Recap/Review

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So, as the big red banner above says, there be spoilers ahead. As an avid anti-spoilerist (?) I feel it’s necessary to warn at all times. So. You’ve been warned. Let’s move on.

Let’s start with:

Sookie, Jason, and the Mysterious Warlow

Sookie sits down to some Chinese food and some light reading in the form of Ex-Sheriff Dearborne’s files, hoping to find something about her parent’s death. Then there’s a knock at her. Not content with ancient fairy magic flowing from her fingertips, she grabs a revolver and answers the door, and finds that it’s creepy ass Mike Spencer: The Bon Temps Creeper, coroner and now apparently a vampire. He attacks our fairy maiden, and, in what is one of the best stakings over 5 seasons, Sookie goes all McGuyver and stakes Mikey with her Chinese takeout chopsticks. Left with a soiled floor and some pajamas that were cute but are now not, Sookie calls Sheriff Andy. They clean up, talk about Mike keeping his porn with autopsy photos, and conclude that this was probably for the best. For once, I agree, although who sent Mike Spencer and why he was turned is not explained. The new Area 5 Sheriff, Elijah later tells Pam and Tara they need to “recruit” so perhaps it ties into that? But more on that later.

MacSookie!!!

Jason, after dealing with some of his own drama concerning Hoyt and Jessica (what else… ahem, I mean see below) comes to Sookie’s to take her to his place for safe keeping and such as they talk about tracking down Warlow. Finding nothing in Dearborne’s files, Sookie is at a loss, and repeats Grandma Stackhouse’s directive to check under the bed. Jason, showing a charming bit of detective work, realizes that Gran meant the floorboards and not the box under the bed. Tsk tsk Sook, gettin lazy. Anyway, Jason pries the boards open and finds a scroll with a series of weird symbols. Unable to read the Wingdings font, they take it to the Fairies. Actually they don’t. They make a stop at a professor who thinks they’re from a rival school to play a trick on him, who tells them it is no known human language. Then they go to the fairies. Only to be cryptically (how else?) told that it’s unreadable even by them. Until Mirella (Andy’s fairy strumpet who he had sex with in the woods. Who also happens to be pregnant now. No big deal.) comes in and uses her fairy fingers to magic the scroll into being readable. Handy little bastards these fairys. So, able to read it, she tells them it’s a contract that a Stackhouse ancestor wrote in blood with M. Warlow pledging the first fae bearing female heir. As Claude states, there have been no female Stackhouses with Fae blood until…you guessed it: Sookie. Which closes the episode with this face:

Worried Sookie is worried…

Pretty much Sook. Pretty much.

Hoyt, Jessica & Jason

Jason’s aforementioned drama is all tied in with the never ending story that is the Jason/Jessica/Hoyt love triangle. Starting with Hoyt being picked up by his mother, they drive while she welcomes him back, describing how she bought him a new bed and the like. Then he drops his bombshell: he wants to move to an oil rig in Alaska. To be happy. Yup. Clearly someone hasn’t seen 30 Days Of Night. Anyway, his mother obviously doesn’t take this well and he basically tells her to go screw herself.

Meanwhile, Jessica Meanwhile, Jessica arives at Merlotte’s only to be threatend by rednecks and then backed up by Sam and Lafayette. Jason and Hoyt arive shortly after. Turns out Hoyt has gathered them here to relay his grand plans. As Jason and Jess sit dumbfounded, he drops yet another, even worse bomb: he wants Jessica to glamour him into not remembering either Jessica or Jason, and erase all feelings and knowledge of them so that he can live a happy life. On an oil rig. In Alaska. If this sounds absolutely stupid, that’s because it is. Hoyt is lazy and wants to skip all that annoying personal growth crap you see. So in a moment VERY reminiscent of a certain other plot line in The Vampire Diaries, Jessica obliges. Sadness is had by all, and the glamour holds. Jason later pulls Hoyt over to talk, only to let him continue on to Alaska, blissfully unaware. Le sigh.

“I’m lazy!”

Bill, Eric, & The Authority

The Vampire Authority is in full swing with their plans. They swiftly execute Molly (much to our absolute DISMAY), ushering Tina Majorino out the door. Or onto the floor rather. Very sad. Then Eric is brought in, and having been spooked by a Lilith blood induced vision of her killing Godric, has seemingly joined the Sanguinistas. He makes nice with Russel (sort of) and becomes a part of the new Authority. Thus they continue their plot to starve vampires of True Blood. Also, Bill brings Jessica to Authority headquarters, and begins trying to “educate” her in Lilith’s teachings. Finally, Russell brings up daywalking with Fairy blood, Salome shoots him down. He snaps and basically calls them all stupid religious fanatics, claims his awesomeness and runs away. It was only a matter of time really.

Bout damn time…

Not much else of note here, other than some great interaction between Russel and Steve Newlan who are becoming quite the couple, as well as Steve scolding his new puppy Emma for turning human. Which brings us to…

Sam & Luna

Luna, understandably shaken at the kidnapping of her daughter is on the hunt. Unable to roust any police with her “Reverand Steve Newlin stole my baby!” story, her and Sam take action themselves and sneak into Steves dressing room at a debate he’s in in Louisiana. Trying to find any evidence, they come up empty pawed, and settle for turning into mice and stowing away in Steve’s bag. The last we see them, they’re sneaking out of the bag and into Vamp Authority headquarters.

And here’s an image of Emma. Not even from this episode, but that’s ok because: adorbs.

Pam & Tara

Business is down at Fangtasia and the new sheriff, Elijah is unhappy. He tells Pam and Tara that things need to change and the authority has mandated that they must sire 30 vampires in the next month. This leads to Pam telling Tara they’ll just leave and “live in the wind” like she and Eric once did. Not content with this, Tara pretends to kill Ginger, and pulls Elijah into the office to help. When he asks if Pam hadn’t already talked to her about turning people, Tara gets all crazy eyed and says “I don’t know nuthin about birthin no vampire babies!” Then she beheads Elijah while he checks Ginger, who begins shrieking, and in walks Pam. End scene.

Priceless.

Final Analysis

All in all a pretty satisfying episode. I thought the whole memory wipe was crazy stupid, but otherwise everything else seems to be coming to a head properly. I love anything Pam and Tara, and find Russel to be a delight. I loved Tina Majorino as Molly, even if it was a small part, but thus is life. Or un-life rather. Plus, she got well fit! Who knew she was such a knockout?

Oh Molly you inventive mynx. You will be missed.

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