The 2013 Spring TV Season: And I Did Weep

FEATURED

The networks hath spoken and we have our list of new and returning television for the non-cable networks. Let’s see how we did…

RENEWED FOR 2013-2014 SEASON

This list gets a resounding “Duh” as it’s a bunch of heavy hitters for their respective networks. No surprises. But still nice to see some favorites.

American Dad (Fox)
America’s Next Top Model (CW)
Bob’s Burgers (Fox)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
Family Guy (Fox)
The Simpsons (Fox)
The Voice (NBC)
The X Factor (Fox)

NEW SHOWS: FULL SEASONS ORDERED

This list makes me happy and glowy inside. Until I saw Beauty and the Beast. Which wasn’t so bad until I saw the list of cancelled shows, and pretty much frenzied Gangrel style. The fact that it’s my favorite Disney movie really means it would have had to work to impress me, but I couldn’t make it through the first episode. Just painful.

Don’t worry James. We’ll show them. Then they’ll see. THEY’LL ALL SEE.

Nonetheless, Arrow is thankfully getting a full season, which seemed like a dicey proposition. Elementary, while I have yet to see it, also makes me happy. I’ve only seen the first two episodes of Nashville, but I’m still glad it pulled through. And lastly, The New Normal getting a full season is rapturous, as I didn’t think it would be able to do it. But it did and I are a happy camper.

Arrow (CW) – Hah! It’s green…
Beauty and the Beast (CW)
Ben & Kate (Fox)
Chicago Fire (NBC)
Elementary (CBS)
Go On (NBC)
The Mindy Project (Fox)
Nashville (ABC)
The Neighbors (ABC)
The New Normal (NBC)
Vegas (CBS)

CANCELED/ENDING

Here’s where I get crazy. 666 Park Avenue?! Are you freaking kidding me?!?! It was the perfect amalgam of horror stories in a family friendly, Rosemary’s Baby-esque package. It was prime time’s answer to American Horror Story, and I really loved it. For some reason I really thought it would make it to at least a full season 1, maybe a second season. But they nixed it. And Beauty and the Beast gets picked up?!

I would say there are no words…but HILARIOUS is a damn good start.

Otherwise, I don’t feel one way or another about these other ones, and some have been a long time coming. Though I have a relatively¬†unexplainable¬†dislike for Gossip Girl, so maybe I’ll have a mini celebration for that. Oh, and The Mob Doctor looked ok, but it didn’t draw me enough to even watch an episode, so, oh well.

30 Rock (NBC)
666 Park Avenue (ABC)
Animal Practice (NBC)
Emily Owens, M.D. (CW)
Fringe (Fox)
Gossip Girl (CW)
Last Resort (ABC)
Made in Jersey (CBS)
The Mob Doctor (Fox)
The Office (NBC)
Partners (CBS)
Private Practice (ABC)

RETURNING SHOWS

A lot of non surprises here as well, though still relieving. I have yet to see more than an episode of 2 Broke Girls and Don’t Trust the B, but I liked what I saw and hope to watch them later. The fact the SVU is still standing is perhaps the best thing about this whole list besides Arrow. I was pleased with the new cast members from last season and how they’ve seamlessly made their impact on the show, and I’m glad to see it’s still going strong after, what, 14 years?

It’s like a cosmic rule or something.

I’m no fan of Revolution, so that’s another that makes me cringe. Almost as much as their dialogue does. But we’re still getting more Revenge, Once upon A Time, Supernatural (which I woefully have yet to see past season 1) and The Vampire Diaries, all of which I am resoundingly for. Oh, and it seems that Two and a Half men is the creature that refuses to die, so I guess I have to respect it for it’s resilience if nothing else.

90210 (CW)
2 Broke Girls (CBS)
The Amazing Race (CBS)
Blue Bloods (CBS)
Bones (Fox)
Castle (ABC)
The Cleveland Show (Fox)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
CSI (CBS)
CSI: NY (CBS)
Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 (ABC)
Glee (Fox)
The Good Wife (CBS)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
Grimm (NBC)
Happy Endings (ABC)
Hart of Dixie (CW)
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Kitchen Nightmares (Fox)
Last Man Standing (ABC)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
The Mentalist (CBS)
The Middle (ABC)
Mike & Molly (CBS)
Modern Family (ABC)
NCIS (CBS)
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
New Girl (Fox)
Nikita (CW)
Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Parenthood (NBC)
Parks and Recreation (NBC)
Person of Interest (CBS)
Raising Hope (Fox)
Revenge (ABC)
Revolution (NBC)
Scandal (ABC)
Shark Tank (ABC)
Suburgatory (ABC)
Supernatural (CW)
Survivor (CBS)
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Undercover Boss (CBS)
Up All Night (NBC)
The Vampire Diaries (CW)
Whitney (NBC)

MIDSEASON/ YET TO PREMIERE

I really have no interest in any of these, beyond Community, and I really don’t have the time for it now. I cringe at the thought of yet more crime dramas being added to an already saturated palette, but hey, peoples love the hell out of em.

Pretty much little guy. Pretty much. Let’s go watch some SVU.

1600 Penn (NBC)
American Idol (Fox)
The Bachelor (ABC)
The Bachelorette (ABC)
The Biggest Loser (NBC)
Body of Proof (ABC)
The Carrie Diaries (CW)
Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)
Community (NBC)
Crossbones (NBC)
Cult (CW)
Deception (NBC)
Do No Harm (NBC)
The Family Tools (ABC)
Fashion Star (NBC)
The Following (Fox)
Friend Me (CBS)
The Goodwin Games (Fox)
Golden Boy (CBS)
How to Live with Your Parents for the Rest of Your Life (ABC)
The Job (CBS)
Red Widow (ABC)
Rules of Engagement (CBS)
Save Me (NBC)
Smash (NBC)
Touch (Fox)
Zero Hour (ABC)

What do you think? Anything get dropped that makes you want to scream? Or excited for the new line up? Let us know below!

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